It is Well

I'm listening to one of my favorite old hymn remakes. It is by a band called Kutless. Typically, as a band they are a little hard for my taste. I saw them opening for the Newsboys once and my brain about fell out of my head. But my son got one of their cd's and let me listen to it. This song about did me in.

I love love love old hymns. And I love it even more when they are remade for the kids today. I love that our great musical heritage is being preserved. As far as I'm concerned, the revival of these old songs just proves how great they were. The words speak to us even in the craziness of the 21st century.

So today, even though I am sitting in a screaming "play place" as I type, it is well with my soul. I share this with you so that it may be well with you, too.

Oh, and I got my Dr. Pepper. : )

When a Comment Turns into a Blog Post

I knew I liked her. I was just over visiting Missy at It's Almost Naptime. Great lady and a hoot and a half. Anywho, she put down on paper (computer screen?) exactly what I have thought and tried to preach with my life for years. Her topic: judgment verses condemnation.

I used to work in retail visual merchandising. As she said, some of my favorite people on the planet are gay. My guys knew exactly where I stood on the subject of their lifestyle. They also knew I loved them deeply.

I believe James 2:10. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

I know I have stumbled on more than just one point, so who am I to condemn.

If you want a good explanation of judgment verses condemnation and where we should stand on things, go visit her.

My Thorn

I have Meniere's disease. I have mentioned it before, but I have never really explained the impact it has not only on my life but also on the lives of my family members. It has been a ride.

The Meniere's Foundation web site has this to say about the disease:

Meniere's Disease is a progressive condition of the inner ear. It affects men and women equally. It usually occurs between the ages of 30 and 60, but can occasioanally affect people outside this age group, including children.

The main symptoms of Meniere's Disease are:

• Vertigo - dizziness
• Nausea and vomiting
• Hearing loss or over-sensitivity to loud sounds
• Tinnitus-noises in the head-which is generally low-pitched or rushing
• A fullness feeling in the affected ear.

Many people with the disease are 100% disabled, unable to work, drive, or take care of themselves. Other people my only feel slight dizziness periodically. The cause of Meniere's Disease is unknown and currently there is not a cure.

Now, to be clear, those who have the disease do not experience all the symptoms at one. But I'll get to that in a minute.

I first developed symptoms of the disease about 11 or 12 years ago. I had been having some other sinus issues, but nothing extraordinary. While shopping at Target one day, with my then 3 year old son, I begin to feel unsteady. It got increasingly worse until I couldn't really walk straight. Then I noticed that I was very sick to my stomach. I stumbled my way to the bathroom where I called my husband to come and get us. He brought a friend with him to drive the car back home. As unnerving as that experience was to me, what bothers me most when I think back on that day is that while I could hardly stand up and certainly couldn't walk straight and had a very small child with me alone in a huge, public place, not a single person asked if I was OK or needed some help.

Anyway, it passed fairly soon. I called my doctor who had me come in. He decided it was probably a result of my sinus issues and the ears are connected to the sinuses and yadda yadda, these things happen.

The next episode resulted in my one and only ambulance ride. I was on field trip with my son's preschool class. We were at a local grocery store and that unsteady feeling started again. I was walked over to the little cafe area. I got progressively more dizzy to the point of landing on the floor vomiting. Paramedics were called. They kept asking me if I had recently suffered a head injury. All I could tell them was, "I think it's my ear."

At the hospital I had my head scanned for the first time. Nothing there. : ) I was given something to settle my stomach. It took a few hours, but the episode passed.

And this has pretty much been the pattern since then. I am a ticking time bomb. I have the constant ringing and whooshing in my left ear. I have diminished hearing in that ear. Those are the only daily symptoms I experience. Other than that, I am perfectly normal. But occasionally, usually without prior warning, I may suddenly experience extreme vertigo.

If you have never experienced vertigo, it is really hard to explain. Dizzy only begins to explain the sensation. There is a profound sense of movement where there is none. If I try to focus on something, it flies across the room. But then it comes back to place and flies again. Of course, not really. How frustrating that must be for those who must watch me stumble and fall and drag me to the bathroom. In their reality, everything is fine. Nothing has changed. I am experiencing my world spinning out of control.

I have gone through times when I had one of these episodes a day for several days. I have gone days without one. I have gone weeks, months even. And most recently, I have gone years. It has probably been 2 - 3 years since I had a real attack of Meniere's. Until a couple of weeks ago.

I woke up just after 5 in the morning with that familiar feeling. Now, I must add that if I lay on my left side and remain still, the vertigo subsides. So I stayed in bed. Sometime late that morning I simply had to go to the bathroom. My husband helped me stumble in there. It was such an ordeal that I just stayed. I lay on the bathroom floor. These things usually last for a few hours and then I sleep it off of another few hours and everything is back to "normal" again.

That didn't happen this time. I lay on that floor until bedtime. (Let me tell you something, let your tired, old bones lay on a bathroom floor for 12 hours. Your bed will never feel as soft as it does when you finally get back into it.) I woke up still unsteady. It wasn't until that afternoon that I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. It did ultimately pass and things returned to "normal" again.

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I have accepted this as part of my life. By all appearances, I am a normal functioning woman. I am independent. I am vain and concerned about my appearance. My body moves freely under my control. I have no appliances that I must drag around with me to ensure my health or well being. I am poised and confident. But I know that at any given moment I may suddenly not be able to walk straight or wind up on the floor vomiting and not be able to do a single thing about it. I may be at the mercy of others to help me with the most basic of functions. It can be quite humbling.

I have found a vitamin regimen with which I have had great success. I believe that is part of the reason I have gone so long between episodes. I take a ton of pills twice a day, but that is a small price to pay for being able to function on a daily basis. I also try to avoid excess salt.

I have asked God to heal me of this, but He has not. I don't hold that against Him. I have accepted that this is my thorn. As long as I struggle with this, I can't be too proud. Too independent. Well, I can, but I have to know that I may shatter my image at any moment. I wouldn't say that "I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties" just yet, but I can relate. While given the opportunity, I would definitely choose for this to be taken from me, I try to embrace the chance to rely fully on God and those who must tend to me when I am weak. And as thorns go, mine could be a whole lot worse.

Do you have a thorn? Tell me about it.

And do you know anyone else who had Meniere's? It is much more common than you might think.

Tuesday's Tip

Today's tip: bag it!

I live in a metropolis. I don't know what it's like where you live, but we have a considerable population of homeless. They are on the corners of most busy intersections with their signs and ragged clothes and vacant faces.

I also have children. With compassionate hearts. I have one, too, but it has been hardened by years of overexposure to ... well, too much. It is still compassionate, but with a thick, cynical shell.

These things together make for a difficult situation as we make our way around town. A couple of years ago I came up with a solution: our homeless bags.

Here is what we fill our bags with:

• a water bottle
• water flavoring
• crackers
• cookies

I usually buy a 6-pack of water. Then I buy a box of the flavorings. Since they come in boxes of 12, we put two in each bag. I buy a box of crackers and we divide them among the bags. They usually come in 8's, so some bags get one and some get two. I also add some kind of cookie. This time I got some Little Debbie's. I have also gotten animal crackers. Everything is individually wrapped and non-perishable.

Some of the other things we have added at different times are:

• candy canes at Christmas
• toothbrushes (you can get a pack for $1 at the dollar store)
• toothpaste
• little cans of fruit (make sure you add a spoon)
• napkins
• bandaids

We keep a larger bag of them in our car. When we see a homeless person on a corner we are passing, we hand them one. My children are happy because we are helping the seemingly helpless. I am happy because I am helping without feeding a bad habit. Call me cynical, but I am. I just told you that!

I have never failed to get a smile from someone who has received a bag. And that can even crack my cynical shell just a little.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10

Is It You?

I could easily have written this, but I didn't. Robin did. And I'm so glad she did.

In case it is you are the one who needs to read it, here it is.

Tuesday's Tip

Today's Tip: listen to the Word of God

I read my Bible. I enjoy reading my Bible. Most everyone I know who cares about the Bible, reads the Bible. My suggestion to you today is to listen to the Bible.

A couple of month ago I heard on the radio about Faith Comes By Hearing. If you go to their web site, you will read this:

Our mission statement is to record and use heart-language Audio Bibles to bring His church together and make disciples from every nation, tribe, language, and people.

And this:

Faith Comes By Hearing offers the world’s largest catalog of Audio Bibles to individuals and nations who hunger to hear. Offering every person on our planet equal access to the Bible requires meeting the unique needs of generations, technical societies, and fast-paced lifestyles. It also means meeting the cultural and literacy challenges presented when working in underdeveloped countries. Faith Comes By Hearing is rising to meet the biblical needs of a complex world through modern technology.

If you go here, you will see some of what they offer.

I decided to spend lent listening to the New Testament. I chose to download a dramatic reading for that purpose. I have read and studied the Bible for some years now. I in no way claim to be a scholar. I just mean that I have read certain parts of it several times. I put the download on my Zune and began listening regularly.

Can I just say, "Wow!" Especially the gospels. Having someone speak the words to me brought it to life in a way that I didn't expect. They use different voices for different people. Hearing Jesus say the words to me, even as an actor, just seemed more real to me than it ever has before.

I cannot say enough about experiencing the Word of God in this way. If you have an mp3 player, download one of the free versions they have available. If not, you can order it in another form.

You will also notice that I now have a button on the sidebar of the blog. Go check it out.

Red Envelope Day

I don't know if you have heard about this event, but I am participating and wanted to give you the opportunity to if you wish. I can explain it no better than one of the web sites promoting the event.

Here is what I would like you to do:

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply stores. On the front, address it to:

DON'T FORGET YOUR RETURN ADDRESS. THEY WON'T BE DELIVERED WIHOUT IT.

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message.

This envelope represents one child who died in abortion. It is empty because that life was unable to offer anything to the world. Responsibility begins with conception.

Put it in the mail on March 31st, and send it. Then send this website to every one of your friends who you think would send one too. I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died before having a a chance to live. Maybe it will change the heart of the president.

For some more information, check here.

On Facebook, Blogging, and the End Times

Do you Facebook?

I do. Too much. But what fun it is. I have gotten in touch with some friends I have known as far back as elementary school. I'm friends with people I used to see weekly and now not so much. Both good friends and casual friends. I love seeing that little box on the bottom of my screen that tells me which of my friends are actively on-line. I have only chatted a couple of times, but I get such a kick out of just seeing that we are surfing together. I would much prefer to hang out or have lunch or visit over tea, but that is too often not even an option.

And then there is the whole blogging thing. Don't we all just love comments: evidence that we are being heard? We visit each other's blogs like we are stopping over at a friend's. We chat about our kids and how we made this fabulous dinner. We give each other helpful hints. We delight in the little peeks into each other's lives and homes. It's like our own little neighborhood.

The other night at Bible Study, Beth was going on about something unrelated to where I am headed and read a verse that just stopped me. It was Hebrews 10:23-25. Here it is:

²³Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. ²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I have read these verses before, but the last one in particular meant something different this time.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - all the more as you see the Day approaching.

What is "the Day"? If you read that passages in some other translations, you won't need an explanation. It is translated the way Paul intended it: the day of His return. That "His" would be Jesus. (He is coming for us, you know!)

The verse is encouraging us to do is something that I believe many of us are already feeling the urge to do - gather together. We seem to have a new feeling to get back in touch with others. To be close in all the ways we can.

Not that I haven't always tried to keep up with some people. We exchange Christmas cards and get together at reunions and special events. But now we have the opportunity to "meet" in ways that were not until recently an option. I think it is very timely.

I don't know what your thoughts on the End Times and the eminence of Jesus' return for us are. Whether you think He is coming soon or not in our lifetime, we are still in the End Times. Everything between when He was here the first time and when He comes for His flock is considered the End Times. We have been living in the End Times for 2,000 years. I do happen to be one of the many who believe that He can't leave us here much longer. In any case, we are closer to the end of the End Times than we have ever been before. It is time to make sure we are gathering.

I am the consummate loner. I have always liked to be alone. The things I like to do are mostly things that I can do by myself. I could be a hermit with very little encouragement. However, when I was struck with my anxiety awhile back, I think it was more than just hormones and an unusual family situation. God really used that time in my life to teach me about community.

Most people with anxiety that I have read about shun other people when they are in its throws. They tend to isolate themselves and avoid any place where there may be more than just a few people. I had the opposite reaction. I think the anxiety must be counter to your instincts. I mean, most people love to go out to eat or to a party or hang out at the mall and just get out. When anxiety strikes them, they hide. I would be perfectly happy within the confines of my own 4 walls most days of my life. When I was dealing with anxiety, I wanted to go ANYWHERE where there would be people. Any. Where. I didn't need to talk to anyone necessarily. I just needed to know they were there.

With God's help, I have gotten over (most) of the debilitating aspects of the anxiety. And while I don't have that constant need to be around people like I did when I thought I was going to burst into flames at any given moment, I enjoy and seek out people a thousand times more than I did before. I think it's important. I think it's what we are supposed to do. I think we are to gather.

Don't fight the urge to get together with like minded people. If an idea occurs to you, go with it. Ask a few girlfriends over to knit the afternoon away. Go volunteer to cook dinner for the youth. Take an elderly neighbor to run errands. Just get out there and get together. And by all means, if you are not in a church community, find one!

Be an encouragement to others. The Day is approaching!

Happy New Year

I have been in a cloud since before Christmas. I think I am ready for my New Year to start.

I also think my time in the kitchen is done. Well, the church kitchen. To say I am glad it is over is an understatement. While I did enjoy it, there just aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything both here and there. I did learn a few things though.

• Cooking for 80 people at a time is not really as bad as it sounds. It's not that much different than cooking for just a few. Sometimes it is even easier. However, cleaning up after 80 people is every bit as daunting as it sounds. Even with awesome commercial kitchen equipment, there are still dishes and pots and pans and they still need to be washed.

• I do not want to own a restaurant. I used to think it would be so much fun. I love to cook for people. I love to have people over and visit. How much fun would it be to just do that for a living? Well, it would only be fun if it was all I wanted to do. I think I can cross that off my "wouldn't it be fun" list.

• Bad habits are easy to acquire, especially when you are overworked and overtired. I can't tell you how many sodas I had while I was working there. I can't tell you how many milk jugs that I would have recycled if I had been home that I just threw out because that is just how they do things there. I can't tell you, well, you get the idea. Easy is just so . . . easy.

• I really like being at home. OK, I knew that. But every once in awhile it is nice to be reminded that you are where you are supposed to be. And I am.
  

Hopefully, things should start returning to normal around here soon. Whatever normal is. The biggest "hopefully" is that our house will sell quickly. It officially goes on the market tomorrow. Our neighborhood is not always in step with the rest of the city/world. Prices and sales have continued to remain strong with only the slightest dip. So far.

Bottom line, if God wants us to move He will provide a buyer. If He does, I hope it's soon.

Not Just Another Day

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings today. And while I could express them here, so many people have already done such a great job. I will direct you to a few of them.

• Missy at It's Almost Naptime hit the nail on the head for most of us. And she had a cool video that I hadn't seen before. Check her out.

• Our dear Beth Moore has opened her blog for people to pray for our new president. Read other's prayers and add yours here.

• Maria at Jubilee on Earth is never one to mince words and today is no different.

• And while this is not directly related to the inauguration, I think it fits right in. Check out this from Kisses of Sunshine.

That should keep you busy for awhile. I'm going to Bible Study!

The Advent Conspiracy

I saw this over at Robin's blog and thought it was cool. Have a look at it and tell me what you think.




For info on the Advent Conspiracy, check their web site.

Sunday Linkage

It has been a long, tough week. Month. OK, life! But there has also been some real encouragement out there. A lot of it has come from some bloggy friends and people I read. I would like to share some of that with you here. Be encouraged.

Missy over at It's Almost Naptime posted on the Internet Cafe.

Barbara over at Mommy Life reminds us we have the peace that passes understanding.

Our dear Beth over at Living Proof Ministries encourages us to be unified.

If that didn't help, Beth offered this the next morning.

And just in case you ever wonder if you can make a difference in someone's life, you need to read this from Marlboro Man.

Feeling Radical and Counter Cultural?

I ran across this article and found it interesting. I offer it up for your Sunday reading pleasure. I left the British spelling of some words.

Leading UK Composer Rocks Music Establishment: Embracing Christianity is "One of the most radical and counter-cultural moves a musician can make"

by Teresa Neumann : Oct 5, 2008 : Martin Beckford - The Telegraph U.K.

A smug ignorance, a gross oversimplification and caricature that serves as an analytical understanding of religion, is the common intellectual currency. The bridge has to be built by Christians and others being firm in resisting increasingly aggressive attempts to still their voices."

(United Kingdom)—James MacMillan, one of the conductors of the BBC Philharmonic orchestra and a leading British composer, rocked the establishment this week when he lambasted atheistic media, art and government elites for trying to drive religion out of public life and culture. In so doing, he contends, they risk making society bland and uniform.

Noting that surveys have shown only one in five people who work in TV consider themselves as religious—compared with seven out of 10 among the general public—in a Telegraph report, MacMillan was quoted as saying that embracing spirituality is now one of the most radical and counter-cultural moves a musician can make.

Referencing the above statistics, he added, "These are people who speak only to themselves and have convinced each other that the rest of the country thinks just like them. They are wrong. (Italics mine.) The campaigning atheists, as opposed to the live-and-let-live variety, are raising their voices because they recognise that they are losing; the project to establish a narrow secular orthodoxy is failing. A smug ignorance, a gross oversimplification and caricature that serves as an analytical understanding of religion, is the common intellectual currency. The bridge has to be built by Christians and others being firm in resisting increasingly aggressive attempts to still their voices."

"I believe," he concluded, that "it is God's divine spark which kindles the musical imagination now, as it has always done, and reminds us, in an increasingly dehumanised world, of what it means to be human."

Read Full Story...

There's a Storm Coming

I don't know if you read Beth Moore's blog, but you should! Of course, it helps if you know a little something about Beth and her family. But sometimes, it just doesn't matter.

Her daughter, Amanda, wrote a very poignant post yesterday. If you have just been through Hurricane Ike, it will touch you. If you have read the news lately, it will also touch you. If you are living in the world today and don't have your head under a rock, it will touch you.

Go read it here and tell me what you think.

The Sense of Community

We had a minor crisis this month while I was away. It is nothing I will go into here, but suffice it to say that my inner circle was penetrated. My sense of reality was challenged. Someone came from the outside and tried to drag my family into her need for chaos. We are still dealing with it, but we are dealing with it. The first few days were exceptionally hard. That sense of attack has passed. Now we are simply on alert.

What I have found surprising during this time is my sense of community.

I have shared that we are a bit adrift right now. We left the congregation we had been apart of for 20 years. With that, we left seeing some of our dearest friends on a regular basis. While we are content at the neighborhood church we are now attending, we haven't really immersed ourselves in that community yet. Of course, we have family. And a few very close friends. We aren't alone, just not thick with friends right now.

However, despite this feeling of disconnectedness, when we were attacked I felt very connected. Although 99.9% of the people I know have no idea what we have been through, I felt during this time that I could have called on any number of them for help or support and they would have readily come to our aid. Both from the old and new community. I have felt protected by my network of people who love me and trust God. Together we would get through this.

We still don't know what the outcome of this whole mess will be, but I do know that God will get us through it. I know that I can lean on my friends, old and new, as well as my family. As hard as it has been, I wouldn't trade that renewed sense of community that I have felt for anything.

Thank you all for being there. Whether you are called on or not.

Low-Hanging Fruit

After church today I hung some clothes on the line, let the chickens run around the backyard, and picked a gallon of figs. It was a hot day, but it was nice in the shade with the breeze. There was that country feel to the day.

My mind usually wanders when I work like that. As I was picking the figs, I was reminded of the phrase “low-hanging fruit” that is sometimes applied when people travel to remote and desperate areas to spread the gospel. Those people they are trying to save are the low-hanging fruit: easy to reach.

I got some low-lying fruit today. I also got some I had to reach up for. I even got some I had to climb on the kids' fort and reach over, pull the branch over to me, and then pick it. When I went and sat across the yard in my comfy lawn chair, darned if I didn't see some fruit that was ripe for the picking that I didn't get in the first pass. Should I just sit there and leave it for the birds? Should I get up, put forth a little more effort, and go get that other fruit? Of course, you know what I did. I couldn't sit there knowing there was fruit to be picked.

Would that I was so diligent in picking the fruit in the Lord's garden, low-hanging or not. All my fruit got put in the same bucket. It will all be washed. It will all be preserved. I won't be able to tell the fruit from the bottom branches from the fruit off the top. God's people are like that. No matter where they come from, they are all valuable and worth the effort. They will all be washed. They will all be preserved.

Lord, help me to find all the fruit you want me to pick. Help me put forth the effort for the hard to reach fruit.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener” John 15:1

“When the harvest time approached, he sent his servants to the tenants to collect his fruit.” Matthew 21:34

In Christ's Name

I want to introduce you to a new blogger. She simply calls herself "a Christian". She describes her blog as follows:

This is a blog about Scripture and our salvation through Jesus Christ. I am a messenger of the Lord's word, here to interpret it using real-life examples in the best way that I can.

Her journey has been a long one. She has gone from being raised Muslim, to becoming an atheist, to finding and accepting Christ as her Lord and Savior. While only a follower of Christ for a short time, her knowledge has increased dramatically in the last few months as I have come to know her. She is on fire for God in a way that my reserved and proper self only dreams of being.

I invite you to check her out at http://remainingwatchful.blogspot.com

She's just getting up and running, so let her know that you found her through me.

Happy Anniversary to me!

One year ago today I sat down and started a blog. We believed at that time that we were on our way to our farm. After searching for too long, we found a place that seemed perfect for us. I started the blog as a way to keep friends and family up to date on our progress.

*sigh*

Someone else now lives on that farm. We are still struggling as to why we are still city dwellers, but we do like it here. We love our house. We have good neighbors. We have lots of good friends we love. And lots of family close. As gas prices climb, we are grateful to have just about everything we need very close. Still...

The blog has changed focus. I hope that it will change back soon. We continue to look for that perfect place. The kids still talk about, "When we get to the farm...." Until then, well, until then we will just keep doing what we are doing, keep looking, and hope that God is preparing the real perfect place for us in His time. His ways are not our ways. And waiting is hard.

I Marvel at the Wisdom of Our God

I marvel at the wisdom of our God.



Yes, I marvel at the wisdom of our God.



When a see a little flower pushing back the mighty sod,
then I marvel at the wisdom of our God.



When they crucified the Father's only Son.
And they laid Him in the tomb they thought they'd won.
But just like the little flower He rolled back the mighty sod,
And I marvel at the wisdom of our God.



He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Have a blessed Easter.

Check These Out

Some of my bloggy counterparts have good things going on, I may to turn into Shannon. Check out these links.

Maria is having another Bible Giveaway.

Missy is featured at Christian Women On-Line.

And this is just plain cool.